You Are Not Alone
If you recently discovered your spouse or partner’s secret life, our hearts go out to you. You are likely experiencing confusion and pain unlike anything you have known before. You were completely unprepared for this, and you may feel overwhelmed and disoriented — unsure of what the next steps should be.
While there is no quick fix, there are three essential things to understand right now that can help you begin to cope.
- This Is Not Your Fault
It is natural to wonder what you could have done differently. But your partner’s behavior is about them — not you. You have become collateral damage in their out-of-control behavior. As difficult as it may be, we encourage you to hold onto that truth.
- You Don’t Need to Have Everything Figured Out
Your mind is likely flooded with questions. You absolutely deserve answers. But right now, the most important thing is to give yourself space for the uncertainty and the swirl of emotions you are suddenly facing. You are exactly as far along as you should be.
- You Have Experienced a Trauma
If you are experiencing hyper-vigilance, flashbacks, anxiety, insomnia, or nightmares — you are not going crazy. These are recognized symptoms of PTSD. Your brain is doing its best to process an overwhelming experience. What you are feeling is a normal response to a traumatic event. You are not alone, and there are healthy ways to heal.
Contact Dr. Ginger Bercaw to schedule a consultation